Sam Grinches Mrs Who
by Lorraine Anderson
Summary: Ok, it's one of the more improbable Leaps... From the fanzine Green Eggs and Ham # 9, May 1996.


SAM GRINCHES MRS. WHO

With apologies to Theodore Geisel & Dr. Seuss

... And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!

The Grinch carved the roast beast!

But that's not the last of it..

No, not in the least.

A year had gone by since his big growth of heart,

Another Big feast, at which the Grinch was a part.

He sat glancing at his love, Mrs. Ariella Who,

widowed mother of Cindy-Lou, who was a bit more than two.

She looked back with shy love, and his heart swelled with pride

and he wished he could say openly what he felt down inside.

After the Feast, the Whos, the tall and the small

sang Christmas praises through all the great hall,

And the Grinch sat at the table, his heart swelled with love...

when suddenly there came a bright light from above.

It stole him away... and he was in a blue roomed place.

He looked down, and found himself wearing a strange naked face.

He sat down hard on the floor, and drummed his fingers in thought.

And said, "This Christmas is odder than a za zimmer zot!"

Whose habits involve scaring beetles and fleas,

And landing, face down, on the bark of the trees.

So while the Project is gaping at the odd thing they landed...

a human, Sam, is staring at the odd thing he's handed.

It looks like a drum and an oboe and a flute and kazoo.

and the thing that's smiling at him should be in a zoo.

He hands the thing back, saying, "Thank you, but no,"

and the thing puts it to his lips and gives a big blow.

The toy screeches, the drums sound, Sam tips over his chair

and suddenly realizes he has nothing on way down there.

He comes up quick, wildly blushing, and shaking his head.

and the thing looks at him with something like dread.

Just then, Al appears. "Sam, give the poor thing a smile.

I'll give you the straight stuff after a while."

Sam smiles at the thing and gives Al a big glare.

Al says, "Sam, don't worry, you're all covered with hair.

And all that see you, see the Grinch; there's no rugrats around."

Suddenly, behind Sam, he hears a small sound.

She looks up with wide eyes, says, "Where's Grinchie! Who're you?"

The bigger one scowls. "You're a pest, little Cindy Lou Who."

He wanders off, and Sam stuffs a big napkin in his belt in front.

Modesty restored just somewhat he looks down at the runt.

"I'm Sam. Grinchie's friend. And who might you be?"

The thing dimples. "I'm Cindy Lou Who. I'm almost just three."

"That's nice, hon," smiled Al. "You're a cute little gal.

If I'll be your friend, will you be my pal?"

She smiled, a bit cautious, and looked at the next room.

"You wanna go sing? Go on, scat, outtahere, zoom!"

She smiled and skipped happily out of the hall.

"She's a good kid, Sam, even though she's a little bit small...

I like your dress." And Sam blushed and looked down.

He said quietly, "Surely I'm meant to get out of this town."

"We think not," Al said, "although it's an odd situation

we think you're supposed to stay put in this way station."

"What's the matter, Al, don't you really know?"

"That's the crux of the matter. In one small word... no.

As far as we can find... and this is from the Grinch...

You're on a small dust mite over Africa," Al flinched,

"A whole world here. Sneetches and Grinches and Whos...

and a variety of critter's not found in a zoo."

Sam looked up. "That's impossible, Al! Geez, how would I fit?"

"We don't know," Al said slowly. "Ziggy's down in a snit."

Just then, a pretty Who walked into the room.

"If we're going to announce, dear, we should do it soon."

And with a long kiss, she walked out of the door.

Sam looked at Al, sighed, and said, "I take it there's more?"

"That's Ariella Who," said Al, checking the handlink.

"She's Cindy-Lou's mom, a widow, Grinch's intended... I think."

"The problem then," said Sam, "is interspecies marriage.

"Am I supposed to aim them to or away from the carriage?"

Just then, a large crash came from the next room.

And the Whos started screaming like a trumpet of doom.

Sam jumped to his feet and grabbed a large chair.

Al looked, "Sam, better grab that red coat over there."

The overlooked coat reached down to Sam's knees.

He said, "Al, tell me what's been going on, PLEASE!"

"It's a gaggle of Grinches," said Al, "And they look rather ugly.

And one sleeze with your fiance is starting to look snugly."

Sam rushed into the room, giving the Grinches a sneer.

And one old she-Grinch said, "Why, Leslie, what you got goin' on here?

Come on over to mama, and hug me and give me a kiss."

Sam shook his head "no", bound and determined to resist.

He went over to the lunk Grinching Ariella Who

Grabbed her back with a tug, saying "This is not for you!"

Ma Grinch smiled and said, "Well. What do y'know?

You like that little thing, do you son... so?"

And Al waved his arms wildly, said, "Sam, that's it!

But give her a 'yes' answer before that thing has a fit."

"Yes," said Sam slowly, "What's it to you?

Is it your business if I marry a Who?"

And while the Whos gasped and Grinches looked astounded

onto a table with Ariella Who Sam upward bounded.

Ma Grinch gaped, and said, "Son, when you weren't around,

I thought sure you were up here a-scaring this town."

Al said, "Defy her, Sam. Grinch was once like this scum,

but converted one year ago, to a good guy from a crumb,

and it seems that the conversion was far too complete.

Old Les couldn't defy her -- he'd be far too sweet."

But the Grinches were muttering, "Marry a Who? How absurd."

Most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard."

Sam said, "That's it! We'll ignore Mama Grinch.

They go take a mile if you give them an inch."

Ariella shouted, "C'mon, Whos, let's sing!"

The dumbfounded Whos got into a ring.

With a faint "Dahoo Dorees," they soon sang out strong.

Getting down to the ground, Sam slowly joined into the song.

Ma Grinch shouted, "What's this? Christmas comes from a store!"

Sam sang, "Mama, dear, it means just a little bit more."

It popped into his head. "I stole their Christmas last year,

but the Whos down in Whoville shed not a tear.

They gathered into a circle and made a joyful sound.

It seems Christmas came without presents around."

Al muttered, "Synergization again," and slammed his handlink.

"C'mon, you rust bucket Ziggy, what do you think?"

Sam yelled, "Hey, Al, come join into the song!"

Al muttered, "Well, why not. It's March. Where could I go wrong!"

The Grinches gaped, all astonished, then Ma Grinch did frown.

"C'mon, boys, let's do it. Let's tear the place down."

They went totally wild. Tore the wreathes off the walls,

set fire to the toys and spray-painted the halls,

chopped the tree into firewood, and cracked all the bells,

and ate the Christmas pudding when they saw how it smelled.

The Whos kept on singing, the tall and the small,

and Sam and Al kept on singing, the loudest of all.

The Grinches finally stopped, the mouths hanging down,

and Ma Grinch came up to her "son," not making a sound.

Sam smiled at the she Grinch, and she fell back a step.

Ariella said, "This is how Christmastime usually is kept."

And Ma Grinch thought, then shrugged and adjusted her shawl.

Then she scratched her head and said, "Well, don't that beat all!"

And slowly -- real slowly -- smiles replaced the big frowns,

And the circle opened up, and the Grinches joined into the round!

Al yelled, "Sam, that's it! Get ready to leave."

Sam said, "I think there's someone I still need to retrieve."

He looked under a table, and there sat Cindy-Lou Who,

her eyes big as saucers, frightened through and through.

Sam said, "Come on out, I know you've had a fright.

C'mon now, Cindy-Lou, these Grinches won't bite."

But Ma Who started crying, and Sam said, "Ma, what's wrong?"

Ma Grinch pointed at Cindy. "Les, it's been so long,

But Cindy's the image of my own dear Grinch daughter.

Sam said, "Daughter! I don't..." And Ma said, "You hadn't oughter.

You were only past one when my little Grinch died."

Cindy-Lou looked at her, and poor Mama Grinch cried.

Ariella went after her, but Sam kept her back.

"Not now, dear," he said. "Let's see how they act."

And Cindy-Lou came out, and hugged the Ma Grinch's knees,

and said, "I can't be your girl, but will you be my Grandma, please?"

Al smiled, and told Sam to Leap now, and Sam said okay.

With a lingering look, traveller Sam flew away.

The Grinch appeared then, and looked at the tableau.

And said, "Oh, my goodness. Dear, what did I do?"

A memory tickled. Cindy-Lou said, "Grinchie, you're back!"

The memories came back like he opened a sack.

And old Grinchie smiled, and whispered, "Yes, Cin, I am.

It's all due to Sam. Thank you,

thank you,

Sam-I-am."


End file.
